Wasted 3 Years in Hell with Jamie
What’s up, brothers… I’ve debated for a long time whether I should write this. I didn’t want to come off as bitter or like I’m trying to play victim, but after reading some of the stories here, I realized there’s value in sharing the full truth. Maybe it’ll help someone see the red flags I missed.
This is about my ex, Jamie. We were together for like three years-ish. I seriously thought she was the one (like most of us when we first meet them). I met her when I was 26. She was funny, charismatic, the kind of woman who could light up a room. But behind the smile was someone I didn’t really know and wish I never met.
Within six months of dating, I started noticing inconsistencies. She’d “lose” her phone for hours, come home late without an explanation, and get extremely defensive if I asked anything. Not even in a confrontational way. She would act all offended by simple questions. I brushed it off at first and just told myself I was being paranoid. What a fucking mistake.
One night, a mutual friend accidentally let it slip that Jamie had been seen at a bar kissing some rando guy. When I confronted her, she flipped it on me. Said I was “controlling” and “jealous.” I almost believed her. She was that good at gaslighting. I started doubting my memory and instincts.
A year into the relationship, money started disappearing from my bank account. At first, it was $5 here, $15 there. I assumed it was just weird charges or maybe I forgot to pay attention. But then $5,000 was missing. I checked my Venmo history and saw multiple transfers to some name I didn’t recognize. Turned out, Jamie was using my card to buy drugs behind my back, and sending money to some guy I didn’t even know.
When I confronted her, she blamed me. Said I “wasn’t providing enough” and that she was “coping with my emotional neglect.” Maaaan, she cried full-on sobbing until I started apologizing for accusing her. The truth? She was deep into pills and God only knows what else, and even worse= I WAS FUCKING PAYING FOR IT without even knowing.
Things took an even darker turn when I finally tried to leave. Jamie didn’t take it well. She spiraled. Within a week, mutual acquaintances started acting strange around me. I got texts from friends asking if I had “really done what Jamie said.” Turns out this stealing ass girl was telling people I had assaulted her. Not just emotionally, but sexually.
I was stunned. Nothing like that had ever happened in my life….EVER! I would never hurt anyone like that. But her lies grew legs! I nearly lost my job. My own family questioned me. I had to get legal help just to shut it down. Eventually, a couple of her old friends (who she also screwed over…SURPRISE!) came forward and admitted she’d made it all up.
The final straw was when Jamie physically attacked my sister.
My sister confronted her…. CALMLY….about stealing my fucking money. Jamie snapped. She lunged at her, scratched her, and tried to throw a glass at her head… ALL IN FRONT OF ME AND OUR MOM! I had to pull her off. That was it. I called the cops. I got her out of my apartment. I changed the locks, blocked her everywhere, and spent the next year trying to put myself back together.
I wasted three years of my life trying to fix someone who didn’t want help. I ignored every red flag because I was afraid to be alone and convinced myself that love meant staying no matter what.
It doesn’t.
Love doesn’t mean tolerating abuse, betrayal, and manipulation. If you see someone lying early on, gaslighting you, violating your trust, AND TAKING YOUR SHIT it doesn’t ever get better. It gets worse… It always gets worse. Don’t do it brothers. DONT!
I hope someone reading this sees their situation in mine and finds the courage to walk away before it gets this bad. Never try to save someone who’s burning your life down.
Stay safe out there.